Writing Emotional Angel Cheques
Not everything in life is about a monetary transaction and the greatest gift you have is your time. Women disproportionately suffer from feelings of loneliness which then impacts our ability to step into our power, with grace. While we are unable to manage hundreds of connections intimately, we are able to punctuate our relationships by depositing an emotional angel cheque - a selfless act of care toward another woman in her time of need. You may not even be close to this woman. You may not even remember what you did. But she will remember, and it will help lift her out of the darkness.
This is an extract from New Methods For Women - you’ll find the 49 Methods I’ve used to design my life. Get your copy here…
Everything in life is an energy exchange, and it’s always great to pay things forward. The underlying principles of New Methods centre around taking back your power for yourself. However, there will always be times in your life when someone else needs you. At some point, someone will need your support and they’ll be unable to give back in a way that makes the exchange “fair” - you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. And that's okay. In these instances, you can write an emotional angel check without the other party feeling they need to reciprocate in some way.
What is an emotional angel check? It comes from the world of business and the term ‘angel investor’, which is an individual who provides capital for a business start-up, usually in exchange for convertible debt or ownership equity. Angel investors typically give support to start-ups in their initial stages, when most investors aren’t prepared to back them.
Essentially, angel investors invest knowing they may get nothing in return. There’s no guarantee the business they’re supporting will ever get off the ground. Emotional angel cheques operate by the very same principle.
I once met a girl at a dinner party who felt quite cold and socially awkward. I found it incredibly difficult to connect with her and so I took a step back and just listened. Within a few minutes of meeting her, she was sharing some intensely personal information about herself which made me feel uncomfortable. Our energies weren’t compatible, and so I left that night thinking nothing of it. Until a few weeks later.
I don't know what came over me. I had the urge to reach out to her and ask what she was up to that night. The response surprised me. She was noticeably and understandably low; her friend had recently committed suicide. I told her not to worry, I’d be at her house at 8.30 pm. “Get ready; I'm coming for you.”
The first thing I said to her when I got there was something along the lines of “I don't know you very well, so I'm not sure if what you need is a walk or to go out and party”. I ended up taking her to a restaurant. I was the shoulder she needed that night. I was a supportive friend - albeit one she didn’t know very well. At that moment, I deposited an emotional angel check. I didn't expect anything from this exchange and neither of us thought this was the beginning of a blossoming friendship; she just needed someone to be there.
This is about being there in the moments when someone needs you the most. Whether that’s advice, a way to release pressure or simply a sounding board. Don’t approach these moments as a ‘fixer’. You can’t just take on other people’s problems as your own. Instead, your job in these instances is to be a source of support and guidance.
Move past the idea that interactions must always be reciprocal.
All our interactions with other people are exchanges of energy and be wary of being too much on the receiver end. Sometimes, people will need your help but won’t be in a position to give anything in return and that's okay. Someone within your network needs your support right now. Call them.
Sometimes you just have to show up. So much of my life is about strategizing and calculating my next move for myself. But, now and then, you have to put yourself to one side and help a sister out.
