Six months ago I left London. Here's how I about it feel now...
In March 2024, I left the big city. After suffering with extreme burnout and other health issues, I decided to rip my life up and start again - New Method 49.
Being 39, I felt like I was at a turning point in my life and whatever my next move was, would define my next decade. So I moved to the countryside and began my Season 2.
I asked the community what you wanted to know about leaving London... here are my responses...
None whatsoever. Like most of my methods and decisions, it did not come out of the blue and was not made lightly. You can read my decision making process which took me ten weeks, here.
This was easy - I moved back to my hometown of Wolverhampton, the place that raised me. I technically don't actually live in Wolverhampton though, as I found a really rural farmhouse in a tiny village about 20 mins away. I wanted a large home, with privacy, surrounded by nature, where I could have enough room for family and friends to visit. I love Wolverhampton and hope eventually to take a more active role in the city.
Yes of course! It's had a huge impact both positive and negative. Firstly, my work lifestyle has completely changed. I don't see friends as often so I do a lot of facetime calls. I also am still figuring out my daily routine.
In terms of work, I wake up at the same time (around 6.30am) but instead of rushing to commute, I think for two hours before even moving. I think about what I'm writing, projects, deals, calls etc. I just think about them. I then listen to the news, make coffee, look at the garden, potter around a bit and start my day. I do Zoom meetings but my wifi is terrible, so I do phone calls now - I have a landline! I tried Starlink and thats still no good as the walls of this farmhouse are too thick.
I'm definitely less busy and this is a good thing as I think I am still physically and mentally recovering from being a productivity maniac for 20 years. I do feel like I'm out of the loop but as I transition to doing deeper projects to achieve my life's work of gender equity, it's only positive that I have more free time on my hands to think and write.
For my network, it's definitely shrunk and this is a good thing. I had a lot of "contacts" that I maintained because we worked in tech or shared an investor or were just someone who was in same industry but they weren't necessarily my friends. These people tended to get prioritised in my Busy Era - an hour on someone you don't know is crazy when you think about the people you love that you hardly see. I've had lots of sleepovers with my beloved friends and I'm so grateful for that.
Many of you asked this simple and straightforward question and the answer is 90% no. Six months on and I still have a mild anxiety attack when I arrive in London. When I get off the train at Euston, it takes no longer than 90 seconds before I hear a siren, a jackhammer or some other completely intrusive noise. I am now one of those people. However, London is very much my city. You know I love the city. I know all about it. I play an active role in it. But I just needed a break. The 10% I do miss is RESTAURANTS, THEATRE, FRIENDS and my favourite building THE BARBICAN. I miss just walking around the city, but that’s alright, it will be there when I get back.
It's only been 6 months so not really. I have to come back to London almost every 10 days so sometimes I can feel quite unsettled..
I haven't had time to find a local community, genuinely between work, house upkeep, family and London trips. However I did attend a Crafty Soiree held by a Stack Member called Holly Fuller who lives locally and I had the best time ever.
Great question! I drive 20 mins to Wolverhampton and then the train is 1.40 / 2 hrs depending if it's a fast train and then I'm out at Euston and it cost £71. It's totally fine and I usually watch TV shows as I get train sickness from working on my laptop. Sometimes I drive and it's 2.30 hr to Westfield Shepherds Bush where I park my car.
Something I will say is that going to London knocks the energy out of me completely. I have health issues that induce fatigue at the moment, so if I come to London to say, do a Stack World event or talk I will usually have to sleep the next day a lot.
Another great and useful question. When my old car broke down, I was very very stuck as there are no Amazon deliveries here. My local farm shop will deliver but it's quite expensive. The Co-Op is a 7 min drive away. A big shop is about 20 mins drive away and my farm shop is 13 mins away. I keep the freezer and pantry well stocked and am happy eating beans on pita bread if I must.
The thing is, London isn't like New York where things are serendipitous and people just bump into each other and hang on the street. My closest friends are all scattered all over the city and I've been to 100s of press dinner, launches, parties in my time so no, I don't have FOMO as usually one dinner party or event is like another. If I want to meet somebody, I email them and arrange a call or 1:1 where you can go deeper. I think the last thing that made me have FOMO was a dinner at Brunswick House with a jazz band that all my dear friends were at and I wasn't invited and I guess they forgot about me. That's the problem with being AWOL - people do forget about you so you have to remind them you exist in different ways.
However I am also trying to rest and lie low a bit and conserve energy for the work I have to do, rather than mindless work like social posts etc, so I'm just heads down getting my act together.
Thank you for asking! Living in and around nature has done wonders for my mental health. Each evening I sit in the garden without my phone, looking at the sunset and just breathing. Literally feel my nervous system calming. I love being in the middle of the changing season and I love agricultural life.
I ask my son regularly if he wants to move back and he says no. I co-parent fully so he comes to London to see his Dad. During these trips, we do cultural things and he says he hates the noise and busy-ness. He's quite introverted and the countryside suits him fine. He's far more independent here than he was in the city, largely because I was terrified he would be attacked. Also - this question assumes that culture is only in London. Roman and I have been to almost every gallery/museum/park in London when he was growing up and he was almost overloaded. There's lots to do locally. This winter, I'm taking him to see the Hans Zimmer Orchestra perform in a cathedral about an hour away so he can hear all his fave movie soundtracks in a great acoustic setting. I'm all for supporting regional arts.
I don't know if I want my son to be a teen in the city. I want him to feel mud and fresh air, and see the sun over the horizon and do a slide tackle on the grass and have friends where you walk to the town centre and hang out outside the fountain on the square and do all the things I used to do growing up. I want him discover things in the woods and see the changing seasons up close and be a bit more hungry and seek things out rather than have it all on his doorstep.
He only has 5 years of childhood left, I want him to feel he can actually be a child.
Surprisingly fine. But then I also grew up on the edges of towns and have spent a lot of time in upper class Britain so I guess I know this vibe. No one has been unkind or curious. I took Grace Ladoja and her son to the local village church to ring the bells and everyone was very welcoming.
For my son, it wasn't about best, it was about most suitable. His school is very kind, very pastoral, very sweet. He often says - the people are just nicer. It's a very small school so he gets a lot of attention. I think he's happy and thats what matters.
Other things to note...
You don't need to make a big announcement
I quite enjoyed the air of mystery of having left London. I told anyone and everyone face to face but I didn't do a big social post because I hate social media and I just didn't want to. Not everything that happens in your life needs an announcement.
Rent, Don't Buy
I'm currently renting a 17th Century Farmhouse on an estate as a test to see if this life is truly for me. Will I miss London and move back? Will I hate the sheep? I didn't know, so this is a good way of dipping my toe in.
Bigger House - More Costs
I've always lived in one and two bed flats in London and right now I'm in a 4-bed house. I've had to buy so much new furniture and white goods and the costs add up. At the grand age of 40 I am now the proud owner of my first oven, fridge and washing machine. Alex Eagle said to me - think of it as a 10 year rental and that made me invest in more quality things that I would take with me to my forever home. That said - I did not anticipate having to buy 3 double beds, sofa bed and endless amounts of linen and towels. Save up for these extra costs.
Be Prepared for Countryside Living Lols
Where I live is super rural and one of the first fails I had was running out of gas - heating and hot water - because I'm off grid. Thats right, someone has to come and fill a giant propane tank of gas in my garden on a regular basis and I ran out on one of the coldest days of Spring. I was livid.
Living in the countryside is not for everyone. We've had ladybird infestations, frogs in the kitchen, sheep climbing our walls and I haven't even experienced my first winter yet. If you're not a fan of cold and creepy crawlies, I do not advise. However this is obviously a choice and I could have just moved into a normal house in my hometown, but who wants normal? If I'm going to leave London, I may as well live somewhere interesting. Plus I moved for the nature...
Eat Your Garden
Anyone, in London or otherwise can plant a small kitchen garden, yet somehow in the city I never found the time. My brother sorted out the raised beds and for a few months we ate lettuce and herbs from the garden every eve until a bout of hot weather made my lettuces bolt. We still have tomatoes and herbs and everything tastes delicious. This part really made the move meaningful.
Pace Yourself With Hosting
I imagined having friends over every weekend and chatting about literature in front of a roaring fire, but in truth I've found hosting a lot! My energy levels are still recovering so having friends over occasionally is now my goal. That said, when my friends do come to visit it has been so life affirming and rewarding and I feel so lucky to share my small part of the world with them. Pace yourself with visitors and have smaller groups or just one or two people come to stay.
Spend Time With Family
One of the reasons I was also keen to move back is that my sister had just had her third child and my youngest sister is also now pregnant. I wanted to be around my family and watch my nieces and nephews grow up. I've loved being around more and being my my brother, who I've not lived with for like 20 years.
I Haven't Found Good Restaurants...Yet
The hardest and saddest thing about living out of London is the quality of the restaurant food. Its so hit and miss that I've only eaten at Indian restaurants, Wagamama and an amazing breakfast spot by the local antiques market. I miss Japanese soooo much that when I come to London, ramen is usually my first meal or SomSaa so I can just have the most powerful flavours. Every meal in London is now a gift.
I've stayed in a lot of friend's spare rooms
Staying at my friends houses is awesome because I actually get to see them and spend quality time with them. The only thing is, I feel rude if I come back late and I can't have my nightly bath. So I've recently joined University Women's Club which has bedrooms that feel like home from home.
In summary, I don't regret my decision one bit but what I have realised is that I need to have a base in London, so at some point I'll attempt to buy a tiny flat and turn it into a luxury hotel room like Miranda July in All Fours.
