Have We Forgotten How to Be Sexy?
In our pursuit of equality, functionality, and practicality, have we forgotten the thrill of sensuality?
I have a Pinterest board called "Sexy Girls." It's over 100 images of women of all sizes, ages and races that I think are sexy. I tend to add to it when I'm planning my personal brand looks, however recently this board has been very unloved. In the search for "cool" I discarded my love of sexiness. I have been sucked in by the word "aesthetic" instead of remembering what I love about my body and my style. The shrinking economy and doom and gloom have sent us hurtling towards homogeny and basic-ness. But as part of my 2025 planning, I want to be sexy again. But what does it mean to be sexy, today?
At some point in the past decade, the work of our feminist foremothers took root and we collectively decided to question the male gaze. And thank God for that. Women are no longer expected to squeeze themselves into uncomfortable clothing or paint their faces in ways designed to appeal to some abstract, patriarchal ideal. We’ve reclaimed our autonomy, our bodies, our wardrobes, and our right to exist in the world without being seen as objects of desire.
But as we’ve stripped away the burden of the male gaze, I can’t help but wonder: have we also stripped away something else? Have we lost the art of being sexy—not for anyone else, but for ourselves? In our pursuit of equality, functionality, and practicality, have we forgotten the thrill of sensuality, the joy of adornment, the unapologetic pleasure of being bold, dramatic, and alive?
Because it’s not just about clothing. It’s about everything: design, beauty, cars, art, and even how we move through the world. It’s as if the cultural pendulum has swung so far toward minimalism, so far toward clean lines and muted palettes, that we’ve banished curves, gloss, and indulgence entirely.
In our pursuit of equality, functionality, and practicality, have we forgotten the thrill of sensuality?
We’ve streamlined our spaces, our faces, our silhouettes, and, in doing so, we’ve left little room for the sexy, the provocative, the unabashedly pleasurable.
